No one’s TRYING to be an ass... That’s a good thing to remember!
No one WANTS to be a jerk.
Yes, people do jerky things sometimes, but it’s not because they want to hurt you (though that may happen). Everything a person says, wants, eats, buys, drinks,... every fucked up thing a person does is because, on some level, they think it will make THEM FEEL BETTER.
Not you feel worse.
That’s an important distinction!
We are all selfishly oriented.
Most people are not trying to do unto others as much as they are trying to find a little relief within themselves.
Relief from sadness, boredom, pain, hunger, fatigue, ... Sometimes we do screwy things or shoot ourselves in the foot.
But always, at the root of it all, we are simply trying to feel better.
Even murderers are looking for relief!
In NLP we say, “everyone is doing the best they can, given the information they have”. I really like to remind myself of this, especially when someone’s being an ass.
We are all on our own path, having our own experience and expanding at our own pace. Sometimes feeling angry is a relief from despair and that’s the best a person can do.
Today, if you see someone behaving badly say to yourself, “they’re just doing the best they can”. You’ll feel better about the whole situation.
I hope this is helpful y’all!
Always with love, Dr. Corinne
#dontbeadonkey #whatanass #asshole #doingthebestican #dothebestyoucan #NLP #feelbetter #howtofeelbetter